by Heidi Khalil…….. July 5, 2022
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(The Testimony of a preteen runaway, turned single mother, who escaped a life filled with trauma and more horror than words can say. What kind of legacy will we all leave behind, when God sees fit for us to leave this earth? Will our lives have meant anything to God or anyone else? Will our children be inspired by how we conquered our sins and fears? Will they draw strength to help them serve God more intimately from their memories of us? Please sit tight, and read this testimony unlike any other that I have ever heard.)
I had the awesome privilege of interviewing a special lady named Jessica recently. It so happens that I met her when she was about 9 or so, at church. I always was touched by her sincerity and quiet strength. She was captured in my wedding video, when she was a little girl. We have had a good relationship. With Jessica, what you see is what you get. She is insightful and deep.
Jessica was a sickly baby. Her biological mother didn’t know how to take care of her, so her mother’s sister took care of her. Her father was in and out of prison for many years, and was feared by everyone in the “hood” that he called home. He was a career criminal, who was a walking nightmare. By 6 months old, she was malnourished, and the doctors did not think that she would make it. Time after time, she was shuffled between her aunt and her grandmother. Her aunt’s place was an unsafe environment, and the abuse and trauma began at a tender age.
At 5 years of age, she was sent to live with her other grandmother, her father’s mother. She was physically safer now. She joined her full sibling, an older sister there. She adored her grandmother, and she always stayed in close proximity to her. However, her grandmother lived in fear of her biological son (Jessica’s father). He had beaten his mother badly in the past with an iron skillet to her head. Every time he was out of prison, they were afraid that he would show up and terrorize them. The fear was so bad that her grandmother’s husband was afraid to live with his wife. He had been threatened repeatedly, and wasn’t interested in being assaulted or worse. They stayed married until he died many years later, but only lived together during times when her son was in prison for long periods of time.
After time, Jessica started to become more healthy. Her grandmother was known for making delicious, authentic Mexican food from scratch. She was a lady who had issues and a past of her own, but Jessica’s physical needs were taken care of.
Jessica loved that her grandmother took her and her sister to church consistently. She loved the positive attention that she got there from the church body. She was able to enjoy many activities, and learned Bible memory verses. One lady from the church in particular named Bertie, lived a couple of blocks away. She wanted to see Jessica and her sister succeed in life. She always went out of her way to help them in any way she could. She also was the only person that Jessica ever met who would stand up to her biological father. She refused to fear him. She would stand up for these 2 little girls in the face of this hardened criminal! And much to everyone’s surprise, he took whatever tongue lashing she gave him.
Although her grandmother’s house was so much better in so many ways, there was a “critical spirit” exhibited on a regular basis. It seemed that no matter how hard she tried to please everyone in the home, she was mocked often, and affection was held back from her. This allowed angry feelings to grow in her, that turned into rage, and trust was no longer present in her heart.
When she turned 11, her grandmother went away for a while, and left Jessica and her sister with their teenage uncle in charge of them. He let them have people over, and this was when Jessica became sexually active, and started “acting out”.
Shortly after, she started skipping school and spending time with her 20 year old boyfriend. She felt like she no longer wanted to stay in the home of her grandmother. In her rage and distrust, and desire to be with her boyfriend, she ended up being put into a group home, after a reunification with her biological mother failed.
By age 12, she had a different boyfriend, who was 23. She lied about her age to him. He thought he was in the clear, as Jessica did not look or act her age by now. Be that as it may, they decided to run away from Oklahoma to the state of New Mexico. She had decided that she wanted to be with him and not the strangers at the group home. Her boyfriend struggled with drug addiction and had become abusive. At some point during this time, she revealed her true age to him. He became irate, and got very angry with her. At that point, he started becoming more protective of his 12 year-old lover.
The drug addiction started to dictate life for them. Jessica became used to the beatings from him. She no longer had any self-respect left at all. At some point, her boyfriend decided that he was going to steal some drug money from a local gang. They were living in a cheap motel, and trying to stay hidden, but the gang discovered them.
( to be continued….) CLICK HERE for skin care products
2 thoughts on “Jessica’s Legacy (Part One)”
Can’t wait for part 2!!
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Wow Heidi…that definitely is huge trauma in one young. I’m glad that’s not the end of the story!
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